Changing Destiny
by LoveAsThouWilt
Summary: No longer able to cope with his fate among the Chosen Children, Daisuke takes destiny into his own hands. Ken x Daisuke. YAOI.
1. What I Would Do for Her

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Warning: Yaoi. Guy x Guy! Gay Digimon characters. If that offends you in any way, please just back out now.

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Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Digimon. I think I'd rather write fanfiction anyway.

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Timeline: after Daisuke gets the digimental of Friendship but before Miyako and Iori get their second digimentals.

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A/N: This is the first of an unknown number of Kaisuke fics that lead up to "The Emperor's Daisuke."

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Changing Destiny

Part 1: What I Would Do For Her

by _loveasthouwilt_

I was sitting by a lake in the digital world. Throwing rocks into the water. Venting.

I don't know why I care so much. I could have any girl I want. I _am_ the best soccer player in school after all. But I had to fall in love with one that plays hard-to-get. I had to fall in love with Hikari.

Stupid Takeru. I just can't compete with him. What's so special about him? He's not perfect. He's annoying as hell.

"Maybe you should just wait for another girl." Veemon commented as he handed me another rock.

"I don't want another girl." I retorted. "I love Hikari."

How often do Veemon and I have this conversation anyway? I want Hikari, and Veemon wants me to get over it and stop whining, especially since he's the only one I whine to. But I _gotta_ complain to someone, 'cause otherwise I'd go crazy from bottling it up. And I'm not one to be _quiet_ about anything.

I just don't understand why she doesn't like me back. I've been trying to get her to like me every since we met. What's not to like?? I'm caring and sensitive just like she is.

"You should just ask her out." Veemon said enthusiastically, dipping a clawed foot into the water. "Point blank."

I rolled my eyes and chunked the rock into the lake. "You can't just ask a girl to make a split-second, very important decision. They get all emotional and pick the wrong answer..."

Veemon considered that. He doesn't know anything about courting women. You gotta pay attention to them, show them that you think they're smart and fun. And most of all, you've gotta act tough for them so they know you'll stand up for them.

I must not be trying hard enough...

At that point, I heard Takeru calling for me somewhere behind me. I ignored him. He was lucky I didn't have a rock in hand.

"Hikari's gone!!"

"What!?" My head snapped around towards Takeru to see if I had heard right.

He was running towards Veemon and me with Patamon and Tailmon following him. They stopped just a few feet away and he said again. "Hikari's gone! We can't find her anywhere."

I jumped up and angrily addressed him alone. "How did you lose her!? It's broad daylight!!"

"I'm not her bodyguard," he responded defensively. "She can usually take care of herself."

I hit him. Hard.

He hadn't expected it and spun straight to the ground. "Takeru!" Patamon squeaked. Veemon was surprised too, and rushed to grab me by the wrist.

But, oh, it felt good. I wanted to hit him again...

He pushed himself to his hands and knees. "I can't be expected to be her bodyguard because she doesn't like me around," I yelled. "She chooses you over me, so _you_ are supposed to protect her!"

"She _doesn't_ choose me, dammit!" He said, rubbing his face where I hit him. I hoped it left a nice bruise. "We're just friends."

I'd been told this a million times, and I refused to believe it. I _couldn't_ believe it, because that would mean Takeru was not the reason Hikari didn't love me. It would mean _I_ was the reason Hikari didn't love me.

I prefer to believe _they_ are the jerks.

Takeru stood up and started talking like I had never hit him.

"We need to organize a search to find her," he said. "She must have been captured since Tailmon isn't with her and we found her digivice discarded in the forest."

"Stupid Tailmon," I glared at her. "You more than any of us should have been protecting her."

I was glad the fault wasn't mine this time.

She gave me a death-look "I _will_ hurt you, Daisuke."

Patamon perched on Daisuke's head and looked down with big blue eyes. "Don't fight. Hikari could be in trouble."

"Tailmon, you come with me and Veemon," I ordered. I am the leader, after all. "We'll search around where you last saw Hikari, while Takeru and the others spread out around the area."

"No." she said simply and defiantly.

Ooh, now I wanted to hit her too, but hitting a rookie would be like hitting a girl... and she was both.

"What's your problem!" I demanded. Stupid digimon! I'm the leader!

"You don't care about anyone accept yourself. I don't like you."

"Tailmon!" Takeru scolded.

How could she say that!? I was being like this because I cared about Hikari! I'm the only one who takes any immediate action around here!

Angrily ignoring Tailmon, I had Veemon Armor Evolve to Raidramon and climbed on his back. Takeru did the same for Pegasusmon. "I'll go get the others," he said, then flew away with Tailmon.

"We're not waiting for them." I told Raidramon.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

Like I knew.

Hikari had probably disappeared somewhere near camp, but if I went back, I'd run into the other Chosen. That was out of the question. _I_ wanted to find her. I was the only one who really cared anyway. I'm in love with her. She should _want_ me to be the one to rescue her.

"Let's go the long way, around camp." I said. "Maybe I can get ahead of the others when they come back here to find me."

"They aren't coming back to the lake," Raidramon said as he headed into the forest that surrounded camp.

"Huh? Why wouldn't they?"

He leaped from side to side and ever forward through forest. "Because they know you well enough to know you won't have waited for them."

It pissed me off that that's what they would think about me, even if it was true.

Is it really necessary for them to constantly remind me that I'm not wanted?

Something hit Raidramon in the side, sending us both crashing in the dirt. Luckily I was thrown off of him before he smashed against a tree. The one who had assaulted us, a lone slave Flymon, shot a few more stingers at Raidramon, which he easily dodged. I climbed back on Raidramon's back. "Go get him! He can't push you around like that!"

The Flymon continued to attack, but would often retreat, forcing us to follow farther and farther away from the camp. "This is taking too much time, Raidramon. Finish him off!" I said.

We reached a clearing and watched as five Airdramon let to the sky, one bearing the royal pain himself, the Digimon Kaizer. "Looking for someone?" he said with a smirk.

"Not you..." I muttered. Raidramon's muscles flexed under me.

"Don't worry, she's very safe." The Kaizer said coldly.

My eyes widened. Figures the stupid Kaizer would have her. Figures Takeru would be right _again_.

"Where is she?!" I demanded.

"Daisuke!" Miyako's voice...

Suddenly I was surrounded by the Chosen and their Armor Evolved digimon. "He's got Hikari." I explained bitterly. So much for being the hero.

"Why?" Iori asked.

"Who cares!" I snapped. "As long as we can get her back."

"Don't talk like I'm not here!!" The Kaizer said, brandishing his whip.

I don't like to think of him as being tough... but I've played soccer against him, so I know he is. I wouldn't want to fight him hand-to-hand. But I'd do it for Hikari if I had to.

While we watched suspiciously, the Airdramon carrying the Kaizer lowered and allowed Ken onto the ground some distance away from us. He left his whip behind, but the Airdramon spiraled overhead like vultures obediently waiting for orders if he were to give them.

"You." he pointed at me. "You and I will discuss the conditions of Hikari's freedom."

Takeru and I exchanged confused looks.

But then, I am the leader, after all.

I had plenty of backup, so I figured, what the hell. I climbed off Raidramon and approached the Kaizer. He had that confident smirk on his face, because he knew that no matter what we made ourselves believe, we knew in our hearts that we feared him.

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I don't fear him as much as the others do, though.

"OK, so what do you want?" I asked bitterly as I neared him. "You're smart enough to know what we _won't_ agree to, so what's your game?"

He took off his glasses and looked at me with intense indigo eyes. You know... for a guy... he's got cool eyes. You can't help but watch them. The way he looks at you... it's like he feels there's no one else worth looking at... makes you feel important.

"Stay still." he whispered as he moved to stand beside me, his back to the other Chosen.

"What're you doing?" I asked critically.

"We don't want them to hear." he explained.

What the hell was going on, I wondered. He was obviously trying to confuse me, and was doing a damn good job of it.

"I'll trade Hikari..." He looked at me from the side of his eyes, "for you."

"That's it?" I blurted stupidly. Even if I went with him, he had to expect the other Chosen to eventually rescue me, no matter how much they hated me. I didn't get it.

He laughed, "No, of course, that's not all."

With no other warning, he turned and grabbed me by the fur of my jacket and dragged me into a kiss.

I had never even been kissed by a girl before!

Without hesitation, I shoved him away from me, "What are you doing!?"

"Just making sure you know exactly what you'll be getting into when you trade yourself for Hikari," he said quietly. He wanted to make sure only I knew all the conditions of his game so that I could tell the other Chosen only how much I wanted them to know.

He stepped toward me and I stepped back. "Don't you want to know where Hikari is?" he whispered.

"I don't want you anywhere near me." Fag.

An Airdramon neared the ground so that the Kaizer could make his escape when ready. "Less than a day's ride into the western mountains is an industrial fortress." He told me alone. " She is being held in a farmhouse just outside the gates. I look forward to seeing you there." And with that, he leapt onto the Airdramon and we, the Chosen Children, allowed he and his slaves to disappear beyond the canopy.

Great. Now I was gonna have to face the other Chosen. I was never gonna live this one down.

"Oh my God, Daisuke, he _kissed_ you!!" Miyako said tactlessly from her place upon Halsemon's back.

"Really?" I snapped at her. "I didn't notice!"

"So what's up?" Takeru asked, avoiding the kissing issue. Leave it to Takeru to afford me some dignity... just to rub it in what a great guy he is.

"She's in the mountains," I said, allowing Raidramon to descend back to Veemon. The whole truth was embarrassing. I didn't even wanna think about it.

"That's it?" Iori said, Armadillomon already descended and his in arms. "What did he want?"

"What did it look like he wanted?!" I screamed at the little kid.

"Don't yell at him." Tailmon hissed from her place on Pegasusmon in front of Takeru. "Just 'cause you got your pride hurt-"

"Shut up, Tailmon! This is all your fault!"

Veemon wrapped his arms around my legs just above my knees. "Please, stop fighting." he begged. "You're a team, even if you're not friends."

Everyone went silent. They weren't even going to argue...

If I had never been sure I was unwanted before, I was now.

Veemon looked up at me sadly. "That's not what I meant to say..."

I shook my head, disregarding him. "Even if we get to the mountains, we might not be able to rescue Hikari and get back before dark." I realized how suspicious my sudden change of heart sounded and added. "So we'll just have to beat the Kaizer really fast."

The other Chosen had exactly the reaction I had hoped for.

"We all want to rescue Hikari," that from Miyako. "but realistically we just can't do it today. We'll go home and come up with a plan, then come back early tomorrow through a gate nearer to the mountains."

Normally, I would have immediately argued, and that's what would have been expected of me, but this time I wanted some extra time, so I crossed my arms and faked angry pouting.

I wanted to save her. I wanted to save her badly. But things were complicated now.

I can't believe he kissed me...

"There's an industrial fortress in the mountains," I explained to the other Chosen when we returned to the real world. We had come back through a school computer and had collected in the park across the street. "That's where Hikari is."

"Did he say where in the fortress?" Iori asked.

"No, he didn't."

For some reason, the lie felt awful. Maybe it was because I was usually a terrible liar and they usually didn't believe me. This time, though, they _did_ believe me and I felt really bad about it. No matter how much they hated me, I always found myself wanting for their approval.

Once I rescued Hikari, though, I knew it would be worth it.

The meeting didn't last long. Miyako said she'd cover for Hikari by telling Mrs. Yagami that Hikari was sleeping over. Then we decided a time and place to meet.

It was still early in the evening when I took Chibimon back to my apartment. Once in my room, Chibimon grabbed up a soccer ball and was seeing how long he could keep it in the air by bouncing it on his head.

I went to the livingroom and started up a videogame, trying to get my mind off Hikari and the Kaizer for a while. I always play by myself, since no one I know likes the same kind of games that I do. I tried teaching Chibimon how to play once, but he doesn't have enough fingers for it. And Jun doesn't have the attention span to concentrate on an RPG storyline.

Mom came home after a few hours, gift boxes stacked up in her arms. "Have you seen Jun today, sweetie?" she asked.

"If I did, I blocked it out," I said smartly, never taking my eyes off the television.

Setting her boxes on the counter, Mom started squealing excitedly. "There's a new store that just opened up down the street and they have the most fabulous outfits you've ever seen in your life and I really, _really_ want to take Jun in there to look around, because I just _know_ we could find something that would look gorgeous on her."

I humored her. "Yeah, whatever, Mom." And growled at my game as I got caught in one of those annoying random battles.

"You need to get off the TV, hun. My soaps are coming on."

I sighed. "Alright, let me get to a save point."

After returning to my room I flopped on my bed with an arm across my eyes. I had been trying not to think about my problems for a little while, but now there was nothing else to do.

I could just see Hikari...tied up in a dark, dank cabin, alone and afraid. I imagined myself rushing in heroically and cutting her loose and holding her in my arms. She smiles at me and lets me kiss her.

But when I open my eyes... there's Ken.

I get the impression of the blues and yellows that surrounded the Kaizer, and the mess of blue-black hair. Deep indigo eyes that looked upon me as if there was no one else worth looking at...

It was then that I realized I had fallen asleep and was dreaming, because I didn't _see_ him as much as I _felt_ him.

And I felt like doing more than just kissing him.

The thought jolted me awake, which in turn woke Chibimon who had been curled up on my chest.

Where in Hell had that come from?

I wiped my eyes and noticed my face was wet with sweat.

"What's wrong D'suke?"

The emotions I felt in the dream were still fresh in my mind. It felt too good. I wanted it to go away. Stupid dreams. Stupid Kaizer.

Chibimon was rolled over on his back, looking at me upside down, waiting for an answer.

"Just... thinking about Hikari." I said, rubbing his belly.

He giggled. "That tickles...!"

I pulled him into my arms like a teddy bear and tried to go back to sleep, trying to focus on Hikari's face instead of Ken's.

It was a restless night.

In the morning, I thought I was considerably early getting to Iori's apartment building where we were going to open the gate, but I found that Takeru and Miyako were already there.

We watched the door until we saw Iori's mother and grandpa leave the building, then we headed up to the apartment.

In no time, we were in the Digital World just a few minutes from the mountains. The other Chosen insisted I ride with one of them instead of keeping to the ground, so Veemon and I ended up riding behind Miyako on Halsemon.

The mountains weren't actually that high. It was more like a thick cluster of tall green hills shrouded in a fog. I couldn't imagine an industrial fortress as being anything except extremely out of place there. But a farmhouse would be practically unnoticeable...

"There!" Iori said, pointing in the distance.

It was a mess of grey cylindrical towers, some short and squat, others tall and thin. Some smoked and emitted flame. Between them were rectangular warehouses connected by paved streets. It was surrounded by a chain-link gate with a control spire at each of seven corners.

And just outside the fortress was a cozy little farmhouse. Hikari's dungeon. Where Ken was waiting for me.

"That fortress is huge!" Miyako yelled over the wind rushing all about us. "How are we gonna find her in there?"

"Split up." Takeru suggested. "We'll keep in contact over email."

Well, that was easy...

Halsemon let Veemon and me down just inside the fence. When the other Chosen were out of sight, I turned around and went back through the gate, outside the fortress and toward the farmhouse.

The cabin was like something out of a fairy tale. Clover covered the ground and was dotted with tiny white flowers. Vines crawled up the side of the house near a stone chimney. The windows were tightly shuttered against the mist. Cobblestones led up to the front door. It wasn't intimidating at all.

I walked right up to the door, Veemon closely trailing me, and opened it.

Hikari was sitting at a wooden table apparently having breakfast with two Tanemon. When she saw me, her face lit up. "Daisuke!" She left her breakfast to meet me at the door with a big hug.

It was a dream come true... I was the hero.

Smiling she looked into my eyes and asked.

"Where's Takeru?"

Takeru!?

I took her by the shoulders and pushed her hard enough that she hit her butt against the floor. The Tanemon squealed with Hikari as she hit. I don't know what came over me...but I immediately felt really bad about it.

Why? Why do they hate me so much?

The Tanemon fled as the Kaizer stepped in from another room and pulled Hikari up by the back of her shirt, and held a knife to her throat.

No!

"Hikari!"

I couldn't tell what had shocked her more. Ken's attack or mine.

"I knew you'd come," the Kaizer said, pressing the blade against Hikari's skin.

No! I had really screwed up this time. If I had just taken Hikari when I had the chance... now there wouldn't be time for Veemon to Armor Evolve before Ken could slide the blade into her throat.

"Well?"

"Alright." I blurted, not really knowing what I was saying, having no plan, and at the moment not caring. I would get Hikari out of trouble and worry about myself later.

With a little smile, he bit his lip. "Prove it."

Veemon looked up at me, "What's going on?"

I knew what Ken wanted from me, but I didn't know if I could make myself do it. If I didn't... Hikari would die. Hikari _would_ die.

I kept repeating that to myself, hoping it would build up my courage. But... to surrender myself to the Kaizer in _that way_

Hikari's eyes were focused on me, projecting the purest terror I had ever seen. 'Give him what he want's, Daisuke.' They seemed to say. 'Save me.' But she wasn't going to say it. That would be selfish.

She doesn't love me. She doesn't care about me as much as I would like her to. No one does, I guess. But, God help me, I love her and I just couldn't let her die.

Maybe it won't be so bad... It's not like it means anything... It'll just be highly embarrassing and degrading...Lord knows I've been humiliated by him before...

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Please, Master. Spare my worthless friends...

Suddenly it was very clear to me what had happened on that cliffside, and it didn't make my decision any easier.

But I couldn't let her die.

Motioning for Veemon to stay back, I neared the Kaizer. The knife stayed on Hikari's throat. He wasn't taking any chances. I stopped beside them both, glad Hikari was being held in a position that she couldn't turn her head to watch me. She wouldn't know...

The Kaizer wasn't smiling anymore, just watching me nonthreateningly.

My hand shaking, I reached up to remove his glasses. I didn't think I could go through with it if I couldn't see his eyes. At least without the mask I can be sure that he's a person and not really a monster.

I really, really, _really_ didn't want to do it, but I could think of no other way to keep Hikari alive.

As calmly as I could manage, I leaned in and touched my lips to his. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I just almost liked it. It felt rebellious. Yeah, the other Chosen would give me the respect I deserved if they knew the Kaizer had become my ally.

I felt his lips part and his tongue slide across my lip, which was just too much for me and I had to back off. "Now, let her go." I said between gritted teeth.

He moved the blade away from her and pushed her out of his reach. Veemon had to catch her to keep her from falling again.

"Take her to Tailmon," I told Veemon. Then to both, "Get away from here."

"But what about you?" Veemon responded. Even if he didn't understand exactly what was going on, he knew what kissing meant and that it definitely wasn't something I should be doing with the enemy.

"I'm not going to hurt him," the Kaizer addressed them, proud of his victory. "Unless you decide to stay..." Without his glasses, Ken doesn't look as threatening, but his voice is evil just the same.

Veemon grabbed Hikari's wrist and began to lead her out.

"Daisuke..." she whimpered. She was worried about me.

Of course, she'd be mad at me all over again once she found out how I'd selfishly ditched the other Chosen trying to be a hero. Not to mention rashly punching Takeru.

They left the farmhouse leaving the Kaizer and I alone together. I had my back to him and I was just waiting for something bad to happen.

"They'll come back for you," he said calmly. "That's what you want, isn't it? Though it's beyond me why..."

I turned around and handed his glasses back to him. "Better than being here with you."

He folded the glasses and put them somewhere inside the shadows of his cape. "But if you had the choice to leave them all behind, that's what you would do, isn't it? That's what you did to save Hikari. You left them behind. And what did you hope to gain?"

Hikari's affection. I wanted to be her hero.

For someone to care about me....

I glared at him angrily. "You just want to manipulate me into not fighting you."

Suddenly he grabbed me by the arms and stared me down, "I want you to stop trying to gain the approval of a bunch of _idiots_ who don't appreciate you."

I cringed.

But... they're all I have...

"It's stupid, Daisuke. You don't have to put up with that!"

I do! They're all I have!!

Then he added lovingly, "No one should be so alone..."

Desperately, intensely alone...

Hopelessly, painfully alone...

Why? Why do they hate me so much?

What do I do that makes me deserving of such resentment?

He slipped his arms around my waist and slowly pressed his body to mine.

They're all I have....

...and they don't want me...

Tears streamed unbidden.

His face neared mine...

To be loved... even briefly... even by the Kaizer...

I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, allowing him to kiss me, this time nervously accepting his tongue into my mouth.

I had never _tasted_ anyone before.

I loved it... to feel how desperately he wanted to kiss me.

To feel how desperately I needed him to kiss me.

I hoped the other Chosen were happy what they'd driven me to.

I certainly was.

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-to be continued-


	2. Lure of Kindness

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Warnings: Yaoi! Guy x Guy. Gay Digimon Characters. Fun in general.

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Disclaimers: I don't own digimon. But as long as I have the freedom to write fanfiction I'll be happy.

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Timeline: after Daisuke gets the Digimental of Friendship, but before Miyako and Iori get Sincerity and Reliability.

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A/N: When I started writing this, I thought it was going to be the last chapter, but it got long and there is still SO much more that I want to write into this series, so I decided to break it up and write another chapter (or more ). I'm not sure when exactly Daisuke is going to make the cross from one side to the other, but it should be in the next chapter, if he cooperates I hope you'll be watching for it.

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Changing Destiny

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Part 2: Lure of Kindness

_by loveasthouwilt_

How long were we tangled in each others arms?

Peeling off various articles of clothing.

His cape, my jacket.

Gloves, goggles.

My shirt was off, and his was opened up the front.

My hands explored every soft curve of his pale skin and I was pleased to kiss most of those same places.

He likes to lick as much as kiss and I could feel his breath hot against my dampening skin.

And holding me. Always holding me possessively, as if I could never be close enough.

He wants me. He wants me like no one else in the world does.

I need him to want me.

Then he pulled away, slowly tracing the curve of my face with his finger and smiling sweetly. With my eyes locked on his, I kissed his hand as it moved past my lips.

I don't know what to think about him. Not only is his affection forbidden territory because he's a boy, like me, but also because he's my storybook-type nemesis. I'm supposed to hate him. And he's supposed to hate me.

Those may be exactly the reasons I'm drawn to him.

His wickedness seems to melt away just for me. Only for me.

For once, someone _doesn't_ hate me.

Suddenly I was left cold. He was walking away from me... Clasping the front of his uniform...!

"K-Ken.." I stuttered. "Where are you going?"

He shook his head as he snatched up his cape from the floor and fastened it around his neck. "The others will be here for you soon. I can't stay."

He isn't... leaving me...!?

His cape swirled around him in a wave of blue and yellow as he began to walk towards the back door.

"You can't leave me to them!" I yelled, but he didn't stop. "You can't!"

And then I launched from the couch at him, my hands ready to gnarl into the cloth of his uniform, and was practically knocked out of the air by his backhanded strike across my jaw.

My heart shattered as I hit the wooden floor and tears threatened. Refusing to give up, I threw myself at him again, this time slamming into the door as he locked it behind him.

"Ken!!" I roared as I banged my fists against the solid pine. "_KEN_!!" Now I was screaming hysterically, my voice becoming hoarse. If I had been thinking clearly, I might have pursued through the front door, but I could hardly breathe, let alone think.

Dragging my fingernails down the wood, I sank to the floor, crying so furiously it hurt. My whole body shook with pain and my muscles were clenched so tightly I thought I could suffocate.

Gone. As startlingly as he had entered my love life, he left it. Even Hikari had never hurt me like this. I _trusted_ Ken. And now he was gone, and I couldn't blame anyone but myself for my pain.

"Daisuke? Daisuke!!"

Veemon?

The front door flew open followed by the clamber of shoes and paws on the wooden floor as the Chosen and our digimon entered the cabin.

Veemon rushed to me and threw his arms around my neck, and I returned the hug while the others stared in pity and horror. I could imagine what they must have been thinking, to find me shirtless, sweating, and crying, my clothes strewn across the room. And to remember how the Kaizer had kissed me in front of them all. And, for the most part, they were right. I had been stripped of clothes and dignity, abused in mind and body, my broken remains left behind for the scavengers.

Not surprisingly, Hikari was the first of the Chosen to come to my comfort. She placed a hand on my bare shoulder and I immediately wrenched away. I only wanted him to touch me.

His hands...His lips...His tongue...

"Daisuke..." Hikari interrupted, her voice full of sympathy. "We're here now... the Kaizer can't hurt you anymore."

I wish he would...just so I could be with him...

Miyako kneeled down beside me. "We're going to take you home, okay?"

I couldn't look at them. They treat me like I'm worthless until I get hurt, driven by some shallow sense of responsibility. I felt sickened just to be around them.

At least I had my crying under control. Breathing was still a difficulty, and apparently Veemon was having the same problem. "You're squeezing my stuffing out," he joked. I sighed heavily and released him, granting him a weak, but appreciative smile.

The whole situation was extremely awkward, and no one knew quite what to say as I stood to gather up my things. In a way, I was glad no one was attempting to comfort me since I knew they didn't really mean it. Besides that, they couldn't comfort me if they didn't know what had happened, and I wasn't about to tell them.

The journey home was long and tense. Raidramon carried me and would often give me a concerned glance over his shoulder when my fingernails dug into his back. I just couldn't make myself calm down. I kept replaying the event over and over in my head, trying to figure out what went wrong, what I did that made the Kaizer want to leave me behind.

But then...I am, after all, Daisuke. I can't do anything right.

All four of the other Chosen walked me back to my apartment, which was entirely unnecessary, but it made _them_ feel better.

And Kari had the _gall_ to thank me for rescuing her.

I slammed the door in her face.

With Chibimon cuddled in my arms, I started towards my room, but the door opened behind me.

Takeru poked his head into the room. "Hey, Daisuke?"

Irritated by the intrusion, I glared at him over my shoulder. "What?"

"Um.... do you want me to stay here with you?"

My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why?"

He slid into the room and scratched his head underneath his hat. "I just thought you might not want to be alone."

I sighed, getting tired of the attempts at compassion. I wouldn't _be_ so wounded if it weren't for them in the first place. "Just get out," I snarled. And I glared at him angrily until he let himself out the same way he had rudely let himself in.

Once in my room, Chibimon tumbled out of my arms and looked up at me "That was mean..." he squeaked.

"I'm allowed to be pissed off once in a while," I growled as I walked past him.

His little blue brows drew together and his bottom lip quivered miserably. "I'm _so_ sorry!" he wailed, his red eyes filling with tears. "I shouldn't have left you alone with him!"

That stopped me.

I had never even considered...

Kneeling down, I snuggled his face to mine. "Chibimon, it's not your fault at all. You have the situation all wrong." I told him.

He sniffed and stared at me confusedly. "What do you mean?"

I bit my lip. Chibimon is my best friend. Why his friendship doesn't amend my loneliness, I don't know. Maybe because he's programmed to be my friend... or something... Maybe that's stupid to say, but if the Kaizer's dark rings can alter digimon to hate, they must be originally programmed to love, right?

The point is that I didn't need to lie to him. Especially knowing how much he was hurt, thinking he was to blame for something that didn't even happen.

"I'm not sad because of something Ken did to me. I'm sad because ..." I smiled, remembering his tongue trailing slowly up my throat to my chin. "...I liked what he was doing and he stopped."

My digimon tilted his head curiously. "What....was he doing?"

I blushed. How do you explain something like that to a digimon? "He was...nice to me," I stammered.

"But you can't trust him, Daisuke!" Chibimon growled, his little paws clenched and his sharp teeth bared at me. "He's bad!"

As I stood up, I slid my goggles off my head and threw them onto the bed. I knew Chibimon was giving me the right advice...but the other Chosen have never made me feel good about myself, never made me feel needed or even wanted. To them I'm just a rash, selfish, childish, moron who wants attention any way he can get it.

I'd get their attention, all right...

That thought was interrupted by knocking at the door.

"Go away, Jun," I yelled automatically.

She ignored me, of course, and opened the door to find me standing near my blue "toy."

"Where did you go?" she demanded. "You weren't here when I checked earlier."

Where had _she_ been? She hadn't been here when I got back. Not that I really cared...

I put Chibimon on my bed next to my discarded goggles. "I went with my friends to play soccer." I lied.

She eyed me suspiciously, then her expression changed to that of amusement and she winked at me. "You don't get hickeys from playing soccer," she teased.

Impulsively, my hand went to my neck and I glared daggers at her. Jeez, it was bad enough I had to remember making out with the Kaizer, let alone having proof of it. I wondered if the other Chosen had noticed and not bothered to mention it.

Jun giggled. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"It's none of your business," I grumbled, still holding my hand over the incriminating marks.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said, looking almost proud of me. "You need me to help you cover those so Mom and Dad don't see. And get your hand down from there," she added. "I know they're there. Your _girlfriend_ wasn't very considerate."

"He's _not_ my girlfriend," I snorted defensively.

"He?!" she laughed.

"Arrrgh...that's not what I meant...." Though my racing heart said otherwise.

Disregarding the slip, she grabbed me by both my hands and pulled me out of the room. "Come on. I do this all the time."

"I'm not wearing make-up," I informed her. "Mom and Dad probably won't notice anyway. They don't even look at me unless I'm between them and the TV or if it's time for my weekly grounding."

She dragged me into the bathroom and opened her make-up drawer. "You'll need to cover them for school tomorrow. Unless you wear a turtle-neck, and then _everyone_ will know." She shuffled around in the drawer and started pulling out little bottles and boxes full of who-knows-what. "We should do this right away to figure out your color."

"My color?" I whined. "Isn't there some other way...?"

"Nope. Believe me, I know," she insisted. "No one will be able to tell. I promise."

Except the other Chosen... not that I care what they think...

"Fine," I said. I reached into the drawer and dug out something with a clear cover revealing the shades of brown within. "What about this?" I asked.

She yanked it away from me. "That's eye-shadow, Daisuke," she said sarcastically. Then she reconsidered it with a smile. "Actually that might work."

She searched out some more stuff and had it all spread out on the counter. "Alright," she said with a mischievous grin, "let's experiment."

She tapped the underside of my chin with the top of her hand, signaling me to look up and expose my throat to her. "Well," she asked, rubbing some kind of wet sponge across my neck, "are you going to tell me who she is? Do I know her?"

"No," I answered simply to both questions. She would recognize his name if I told her, which was why I didn't. The truth was no more ridiculous than the tales I usually spin, but it was just a little more personal and painful this time and I didn't feel like sharing.

"Is she cute?"

I wrinkled my nose. The Kaizer? Cute? Hardly.

Well...maybe...

"I guess so," I answered stupidly. Jun must have though it was just embarrassed modesty. More like extremely reluctant admittance.

"Is she fun?"

If you consider a psycho warlord who sends hoards of slave digimon to hunt down children and kill them fun.

Actually...I do consider that fun... not the psycho and the kill part, but the being attacked and digivolving. Being one of the good guys. It's like one of my video games, except better because it's real.

...and the stuff that happened in the cabin was fun at first...

"Yeah, she's fun." It was a little weird to refer to the Kaizer as a "she," but I knew better than to slip up again and give Jun a reason to be suspicious.

With a smile, Jun put away the sponge thing for a different one, "Is she smart?"

"Very." I answered without hesitation. That was an easy one.

Jun giggled as she took up another of her little clear plastic boxes. "She can't be that smart if she hooked up with _you_."

She doesn't say stuff like that to be mean, she's just teasing. That's just what siblings do. But when people tell you what you're like over and over, you can't help but start to believe them. As often as she and everyone else has told me how dumb I am, there must be something to it. Maybe I _am_ stupid.

Geez, leave it to someone I care about to make me hate myself all over again. I slapped her hand away as it came towards me again with every good intention. "You're just like everyone else," I accused.

Jun's hand dropped to her side and she bit her lip. Then she wordlessly went back to her little project upon my neck. Good. I hope she feels guilty. _Someone_ should.

I made my way back to my room. When I got there, Chibimon quickly stuffed my D-Terminal into my backpack, trying to hide that he had it. "I didn't do it!" he yelped, mimicking the phrase he'd heard me use all too frequently.

I sat beside him on the bed and retrieved the D-Terminal. "Didn't do what?" I asked.

"Mmmmnnn..." he whimpered guiltily. "Read your email...from the Digimon Kaizer."

"Are you serious?" With more excitement than was appropriate, I brought up my email on the screen and, just as Chibimon had said, there was an email from the Kaizer waiting for me.

__

I'm sorry I left you behind, Daisuke. I care about you too much to kidnap you. I hope you aren't too angry with me.

He said he's sorry! He said he _cares_ about me!

"It could be a trap," Chibimon said.

I laid down on my stomach with the Kaizer's message level with my face and eyed the letters thoughtfully. No return address. Just a bunch of numbers.

"I say we go see him."

The little dragon's mouth gaped. "WHAT?"

I rested my chin on the back of my hand. "Maybe this is just the break we need to get through to him," I explained. "If he is just pretending to care about me, then he'll listen to me at least a little, right? Maybe I can talk some sense into him." It was a good excuse. I almost convinced myself.

Chibimon growled at me. "Or he could just lure you in with kind words then throw you into his dungeon!"

I pushed myself up on my hands. "It'd be worth it for a few kind words!!" I yelled, knocking him back on his tail.

"Daisuke!" Jun yelled at him from elsewhere in the house. "You're playing too loud! Be quiet!"

I sat up, crossed my arms, and hmmphed, looking away from my argumentative digimon. I can do whatever I want to, with or without his support.

The others' digimon don't argue with _them_. They'd probably tell me that's because they never say or do anything as stupid and wrong as I do.

I'm _not_ as stupid and worthless as everyone thinks. And they're _jerks_ for treating me like that! I _don't_ have to put up with it, just like the Kaizer said!

"Daisuke?"

I gave Chibimon a cold glance before looking away again.

He scampered around the bed so that he was face to face with me, and put on a serious expression. "The whole Digital World depends on you, Daisuke," he said. "Don't abandon us..."

I gritted my teeth in an angry grimace. Just make me feel all guilty, why don't you?

"If you're going to say things like that, just don't talk at all, okay?" I ordered.

Chibimon's lip curled into a snarl and he recoiled like a cat about to pounce. I honestly thought for a second that he was going to attack me. Instead he made some kinda high-pitched, furious-beyong-words, barking noise before scuttling into the darkness under the bed.

I've never argued like that with Chibimon before. But he's my digimon and my friend, so I'm sure we'll be friends again later. Even if I did make him mad, I was thankful have someone to discuss this ordeal with.

Once again, Jun intruded into my room. "Are you going to do your homework?" she asked in her usual condescending matriarchal tone.

"The dog ate my homework," I replied smartly.

She put her hands on her hips. "If you were that hungry, you should have just asked." When I couldn't come up with anything clever to retort, she changed the subject. "How does your neck look?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, I wouldn't know, would I?"

She walked across the room and sat beside me on the bed, checking out my neck to see if I was still properly disguised. "You're not going to tell me who she is, huh?" she asked me again.

"You wouldn't know her," I said sarcastically. "She's the empress of an alternate dimension."

"Ugh..." she groaned and started to leave the room. "You're such a jerk sometimes..."

I felt a lot better in the morning, not so stressed out after having gotten some sleep. Chibimon crawled wordlessly into my backpack as I got ready to go to school. I should probably have offered some kind of apology for being so mean to him the night before, but I still didn't feel like I was the one in the wrong. Granted, he really wasn't wrong either, but I think he should be a little more open-minded.

Maybe the Kaizer isn't such a bad guy. Maybe he just wants someone to care about him, just like I want someone to care about me. And he's still just a kid. I don't think he'd actually hurt anyone on purpose.

I bounded into my classroom as carefree as usual and Hikari gave me a little smile. I don't know whether it was to show me that there were no hard feelings for shutting the door in her face the day before, or as another thank-you for whatever I had sacrificed to rescue her.

But she never had smiled as _I _entered the room before. I had always wanted to her light up like that! So I sat on her desk in front of her and smiled. "That was pretty clever of me to check out that cabin yesterday, huh, Hikari?"

Oh, that was smart, Daisuke. First of all, bring up a subject nobody wants to talk about, then make a total ass of yourself. They probably figured out you knew already. Why don't you ever think about these things _before_ you say them?

Suddenly, I had Takeru's hat pulled down over my head and eyes and I squealed.

"Yeah, Daisuke, that was good thinking!" Takeru laughed, humoring me.

I dragged off his hat, and with it my goggles. "Lucky for you my hair is always perfect," I joked threateningly, jumping down from Hikari's desk and fumbling to put my goggles back in their place.

Takeru sat at his desk, setting his backpack on the desktop. Hikari rested her elbow on her desk and her chin in her hand, then closed her eyes and smiled at Takeru for no appearant reason.

Jeez, there she goes again! Stupid "meaningless" flirting...

I slid myself between the two, blocking their view of each other. "Hey! We should go back there today and take down those spires!" I offered. I wanted to keep this subject in the air to prove that whatever happened in the cabin wasn't what they thought it was. If I didn't act upset or evasive then it would seem like it was no big deal.

Hikari, on the other hand...

"I don't know if I want to go back there," she said, her eyes filled with worry. "Being held prisoner by the Digimon Kaizer was scary."

I crossed my arms. "Well, _I'm_ not scared of the stupid Kaizer," I bragged.

Dammit, I really don't say anything even remotely thoughtful or considerate, do I? Hikari _did_ have a blade to her throat, and even though I don't think the Kaizer really would have hurt her, we didn't know that then and we were both really scared. Hikari's _life_ had been threatened, and only my dignity.

And just to prove what a jerk I am, I pretended I hadn't come to that realization and stood there with my nose stuck up in the air arrogantly.

"I was thinking," Takeru said, looking directly at Hikari, making me felt left out of the conversation, "maybe we could spend the weekend in the Digital World." Hikari raised an eyebrow at him. "There are cabins in the icy forest," he explained, then he looked up at me, "we could all go."

"Thanks for inviting me..." I said bitterly, with no thanks whatsoever in my voice. As if I wasn't invited the moment he brought it up!

"That sounds like fun, Takeru," Hikari said with a grin, once again pushing me out of the conversation. Sometimes it's hard to tell if they do that on purpose or not. Not that that matters. It's still annoying.

"Great!" I interjected, as if it was my idea all along. "It's a plan, then. I'll tell the others!"

Takeru winked and gave me the V-sign. "Pack light," he reminded us, then the teacher walked in and started class.

Oi, it was cold! The sky was blasting us with icy rain and it was pitch dark because of the cloud cover. If it had been like then when we first got to the Digital World, we would have turned back, but we'd already been walking for a few miles when the storm started.

"Brilliant plan!" I had yelled at Takeru, but the wind had carried the sound away long before it could reach the blonde.

"I thought you said this was _your_ 'brilliant plan'" Iori pointed out sarcastically, giving me the impression that he had never believed that in the first place. He and Armadillomon were sitting in front of me on Raidramon so that I could keep them from flying away in the wind. Hikari and Tailmon were riding the same way on Halsemon with Miyako holding her. I had been both surprised and relieved when Miyako had offered her help Hikari before Takeru did. After all, Miyako's no threat to my possible future with Hikari.

It's a massive comfort to know that I still like Hikari. Makes me feel a little better about sort of liking Ken. I mean...it's still pretty unsettling. Admitting to...maybe...being bi...Well, it's just not something I would do to make people like me more. It's not one of the devices I would use to draw attention to myself...one of the few...

Iori shivered against my chest, tugging my jacket closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and his digimon and held them tight, all of us closing our eyes against the ice as Raidramon trudged on.

This was the feeling I had always expected of my friends, to just make me feel needed and wanted. I shouldn't have to ask for it. No one would be here in my arms if it weren't necessary.

I'm too young to be this lonely...

Takeru reached down from Pegasusmon to rustle the frosted fur of my jacket to get my attention. "The cabins!" he yelled over the wind.

I glared at him.

He didn't deserve to be glared at for that comment; in fact I was happy the cabins were in sight. I just didn't want him touching me. His existence ruffles my feathers. He likes Hikari...I'm sure of it. I don't care what he says.

Rolling my shoulders to work some of the ice off my jacket, I squeezed Iori lightly to rouse him. "Hey, we're here," I told him.

He opened his eyes and spotted the cluster of cabin roofs just beyond the snowdrifts then grinned up at me excitedly. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Sometimes Iori accidentally lets the kid in him get out. I can relate to that. Being a kid is way more fun than acting serious all the time.

Raidramon didn't need to be told twice, he leapt over the last snowdrifts with Halsemon and Pegasusmon right on his tail, and we made the last few hundred feet in seconds.

Our digimon descended to rookies and we all stood on the porch of the main building blowing heat into our mittens while Miyako tried to get the attention of someone within by banging on the front door. A fuzzy raccoomon answered the door with an amused grin. "You humans have no sense," he teased, waving a friendly paw for us to come in, "traipsing around the Digital World in a blizzard."

"It's not that cold," I boasted, dusting the frost out of my hair.

When Takeru had mentioned cabins, I had gotten the idea of old, rustic shacks, but the digimon never cease to surprise me with their inconsistencies. The main lobby was very clean and modern-looking, and the temperature was regulated to a comfort that defied the storm raging outside. Though that ruled out sharing sleepingbags under the pretense of needing extra body heat...I wasn't likely to get to share with Hikari anyway, so it wasn't that big of a disappointment.

"I'm thinking hot chocolate," Miyako said as she peeled off her mittens and cap, "with cake and ice-cream."

"You want ice-cream?" Hawkmon asked in disbelief. "It's snowing outside and you want ice-cream?" But Miyako just continued to list all the desserts she wanted, now with Armadillomon's attention.

Takeru, with Patamon riding on his head, produced his wallet and followed the raccoomon to haggle for one of the cottages. (We had had the foresight to bring some digi-dollars, just in case.)

Another raccoomon came down a staircase, this one wearing a pink apron. "I thought I heard voices," she said with a toothy grin, "what can I get for you children?"

"We're not sure, yet," Hikari said politely. Then she smiled at Miyako, "Hot cocoa sounds really good, though."

"With marshmallows," Iori and Armadillomon added.

"And chocolate chip cookies!" Veemon furthered the order, hopping onto one of two gray-striped couches.

All this talk about candy and chocolate was getting me excited. For the first time, I was starting to feel that I'd rather be here with these guys than to be sorting things out with the Kaizer. Maybe he was just a fling to be forgotten. With the storm between us, I felt a world away from him.

After Takeru paid for our lodging, he rejoined the rest of us. We were all sitting on the couches that were facing each other across a low coffee table, a fire crackling in the fireplace nearby. The raccoomon couple disappeared into the next room to accommodate our sweet-tooth.

Digimon can be so unbelievably and unnecessarily gracious. It's really sad to think that the Kaizer could come in here at any moment and turn this friendly digimon pair into monsters. Maybe I _can_ talk him out of this Kaizer thing.

Veemon was sitting next to me, but with a noticeable space between us. I had assumed, since he's my digimon, that he'd get over our spat pretty quick and us be friends again, but he wasn't being as cooperative as I had thought he'd be. I guess I should have anticipated him being more stubborn. He is _my_ digimon, after all.

'Course, I should have also been able to anticipate him _supporting_ me...

I'm not gonna be mad at him, though, 'cause he's my friend.

So I scooted closer to him and leaned over to whisper "I'm sorry I yelled at you" quietly enough that only he could hear it. The other Chosen didn't need to know Vee and I had been arguing about anything, 'cause then they'd want to know what we'd been arguing about and it would just get bad from there.

Thankfully, my apology had its intended affect and Veemon smiled and jumped onto my lap. I was a little nervous that he might want to talk about it, but he was much too busy drooling hungrily for chocolate. I guess I picked a better opportunity to apologize than I thought.

Anyways, the raccoomon couple brought out the sweets--cake and cookies, milk and cocoa with marshmallows on the side, doughnuts and little cups of ice cream. Miyako and I fought over the doughnuts and ended up spilling her hot chocolate, which made her really mad, but she deserved it for hogging the doughnuts. Besides, our hosts immediately replaced the spilled drink. I even helped clean the mess (at Hikari's insistence).

As the hours went by, it was impossible to tell when the day faded into night. The storm was still going on full force outside, but I was ready to find our cabin and settle in for the night. "We walked in it for miles, a few extra yards won't kill us," I argued.

"Don't be stupid," Tailmon said. "It's warm in here, and the raccoomon said we could sleep upstairs if the storm doesn't calm."

The first thing that crossed my mind was Don't call me stupid, but since it doesn't do any good to point out that I don't like it, I ignored it.

"We paid for our own cabin, though," I persisted, looking at Takeru, since it had been his idea and his money. But he just looked at Hikari, then back at me and shrugged.

What was I supposed to make of that? He wouldn't go if Hikari wasn't going? Fine. Ass.

I sighed. "Miyako? Iori? Anybody?"

Miyako and Hawkmon grabbed the last few cookies. "I'll go," she said. "I wanna check out the cabin and claim my room."

I was elated that someone was actually coming with me. Sometimes even _I_ can't tell whether I'm serious or just showing off. Veemon ran circles around my legs, hyper from all the sugar and ready to go on adventures even if it was only a couple yards away.

When I opened the lodge door and the wind almost yanked it off it's hinges, I considered turning back, but only for a moment. Sensing that Miyako might be having the same second thoughts, I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her out, leaving the raccoomon to shut the door behind us and our two digimon.

Blasted by ice as coarse and painful as sandpaper, frosty needles spiking every inch of exposed flesh, wind threatening to pick up our poor digimon and carry them away forever. It was worth it to prove once again that I _can_ survive whatever seemingly rash situations I dream up and throw myself blindly into.

I'm such an idiot. Oh well.

Not only that, but I stupidly, mindlessly left Takeru and Hikari together.

I didn't have time to think about that right now. I needed to concentrate on getting the four of us to safety. That's my responsibility as leader.

The inside of our cabin was as clean and nice as the main lodge, though not as warm since no one had been occupying it. Miyako immediately went to the kitchen pantry to find matches for the fire. Veemon and Hawkmon started jumping on the couch like a couple of toddlers. And I went to the first bedroom to drag the blankets and pillows off the bed. I don't know about Takeru, but I came here to be rugged. I'm sleeping on the floor in front of the fire, even if I have to move the furniture around.

Once Miyako had a fire going, she turned the overhead lights out and built a nest of blankets near mine.

"I thought you were going to pick out a room," I said, "sleep on a bed and all."

She shook her head. "Not with you down here. That would be rude."

I nodded. I suppose I should thank her. But I don't think it was friendship as much as common courtesy that kept her around. Maybe I'm being too cynical...

I pulled off my jacket and threw it onto the floor nearby. "While you're feeling generous," I began, "can I have a cookie?"

Her brows drew together and her lips puckered possessively and the light of the fire flickered against her face. I just grinned at her, not really expecting her to share, just teasing her.

Her lips just barely curled into a crooked smile. "You're such a brat."

I nodded proudly and she produced a cookie and handed it to me. Suddenly smelling chocolate, Veemon burrowed under the covers next to me and gave Miyako a similar hopeful look.

"And _you're_ a bottomless pit!" she accused my digimon, but gave him a cookie anyway.

That's when Hawkmon fluttered to us. "Perhaps we should have stayed where we could still have milk," he commented as Miyako gave him a cookie without him having to ask for it.

For the first time, it occurred to me that maybe Miyako knew stuff about Hikari that I didn't. Maybe 'Kari talked to her about stuff. I should ask her.

"Hey, Miyako," I began, rolling onto my chest and looking into the fire. "Does Hikari talk to you about...you know...girl stuff."

I could tell she turned to look at me funny, even if I wasn't facing her. "Maybe... Why?"

I crossed my arms in front of me and rested my chin on them. "Did she tell you if she likes Takeru?"

Miyako sighed and leaned against the couch. "I can't tell you that, Daisuke."

I nodded. "I take that as a yes, then."

"You can't assume that. Maybe she likes someone else."

I hadn't considered that...That would suck. At least if it was Takeru, I could hold it against him.

"Like who?" I demanded. What if it was someone I didn't even know? What if it was one of the older Chosen? Stupid Miyako...probably just trying to make me even more curious.

She crossed her arms across her chest. "Well, it's really none of your business."

I nodded again. Hikari likes Takeru. Screw it. I don't need her. I could have Ken.

Mmnnn...I shouldn't be thinking like that. Ken's the bad guy... the bad _guy_.

"You know, it's not really your fault she doesn't like you." Miyako said, drawing her blanket over her legs and wrapping her arms around Hawkmon, who nestled in her lap.

"And you know I don't buy that."

She frowned. "Then you're a bigger idiot than I gave you credit for."

But...I don't do anything really wrong... Hikari likes everybody...why doesn't she like me? I like me....Even _Ken_ likes me...I think....

Moron. She doesn't know what she's missing.

If only Takeru wasn't around...

Before that scheme could be plotted, the front door opened and Hikari walked in followed by Takeru, who was carrying a sleeping Iori in his arms, and their digimon partners came behind. The storm must have calmed if Iori could sleep through it.

Takeru whispered something to Hikari then carried Iori up the stairs, Patamon and Armadillomon following him. Then Hikari and Tailmon came to sit on the couch near where Miyako and I had constructed our beds.

Seeing that Miyako had fallen asleep, Hikari spoke in an excited whisper. "The raccoomon said if it isn't stormy tomorrow they'll take us all sledding."

Trying not to disturb Veemon's sleep, I turned over to sit up, leaning back on my hands. "That sounds like fun," I told her. "I can show you some slick moves I know!"

She snickered incredulously. "Just don't get a concussion. A trip to the Digital World Hospital isn't anyone's idea of a swell vacation."

Yeah, that wouldn't be any fun.

Nice to know that she has so much confidence in me...

Instead of getting mad, though, I just waved my hand dismissively. "I won't get hurt. I'm superman!"

Tailmon nodded. "Riiight."

Oh, shut up, Tailmon.

Hikari took her digimon into her arms. "I'm going to call it a night. I'll take one of the beds upstairs that still has it's bedding," she quipped as she walked away.

I turned back to the fire. "Just make sure Takeru isn't in the bed when you climb into it," I muttered under my breath so that she couldn't hear me.

"Yeah, that goes double for me," Veemon whispered supportively. It's good to have my friend back. After just one day of him not talking to me, I know I won't argue like that with him again. We've gotta stick together.

I don't know when I fell asleep; I just know I woke to the sound of Hikari giggling quietly upstairs. Miyako was still sleeping soundly, but I decided to make a nuisance of myself anyway.

I found Hikari in the same room as Takeru, sitting cross-legged on opposite ends of the bed, apparently just talking. "Why aren't ya'll asleep?" I whined. "It must be midnight..."

"It's the weekend, Daisuke," Takeru said with a grin. "Live a little. Stay up late."

I frowned indignantly. "What can there possibly be to talk about this late at night?" ...that couldn't include the rest of us...that couldn't include _me_.

Hikari shrugged. "Just stuff."

Yeah...you're trying to get rid of me. I can tell...

I pouted. "Well, it would be nice if you wouldn't chatter at everyone else's expense. Your giggling is keeping Miyako and me awake." So I lied about Miyako...They didn't know that.

"Ok," Hikari said brightly. "We'll be quiet." Then she turned her back to me, wordlessly excusing me from the room.

Oh, that is IT...!

Such a small, seemingly meaningless gesture...she's probably done it to me a million times...and she doesn't even know what she really did...

I stood there for a moment, my teeth bared like angry Chibimon, my fists clenched at my sides, my breath caught painfully in my chest.

She wants me to go...wants me to leave...leave her alone...so she can be with him...

Fine.

I stormed downstairs and pulled on my jacket, then gathered up the blanket Veemon was curled up in, cradling him to me so that he didn't need to wake up, and left the cabin.

It was dark, it was cold, and it was snowing. But it wasn't stormy, at least. I used my D-3 like a compass and headed towards the digital gate that would take me back to the real world.

I don't know when they'll notice I'm gone, but I know they'll start looking for me right away, and they'll know why I left...

They'll be furious that I ruined their weekend...

__

To be continued


	3. Where I'm Wanted

**__**

Warnings:Yaoi! Guy x Guy. Gay Digimon Characters. Just the way it should be.

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Disclaimers: Digimon is not mine.

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A/N: Believe it or not, here's the next part of Changing Destiny. Not surprisingly, Daisuke has taken over this story and I'm not entirely sure where it's going anymore, but I'm sure it'll be exciting, charming, and heartbreaking. Poor Daisuke...

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Recap: When last we left our hero, he and the Chosen Children had been enjoying a holiday in the cabins of a frozen forest. However, a conversation with Hikari and Takeru upset him and he gathered up his digimon and left.

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Changing Destiny

Part 3: Where I'm Wanted

by _loveasthouwilt_

Even Chibimon couldn't sleep through the twisting, squeezing pressure of our raw data being crammed back into physical form so that we could return to the real world. He stirred in my arms as I stepped into the school's computer lab.

"What are we doing here?" he asked sleepily. "Is the weekend over?"

I set him and the snow-dampened blanket he was wrapped in on the floor and sat at the desk in front of the closed gate. "It's still the weekend," I assured him.

"Why are we back in school if it's still the weekend?"

I took my D-Terminal out of my pocket and opened the Kaizer's email, studying the obscure return address. "I'm gonna look for Ken."

Chibimon gasped. "Daisuke, no!"

I looked away from the email and gave him my attention while he brought all the excuses he could think of into one argument. "It's dark and it's late and I'm tired and hungry and the others will be worried and we have no idea where he is, otherwise we'd have stopped him a long time ago, and he's _mean_ and he's _scary_ and he's _just trying to trick you_!"

"It's not a trick!" I argued. It can't be...

"This is because he kissed you, isn't it?"

"No!" I snapped. How dare he accuse me of being so shallow? There are a lot of reasons why I want to find Ken...

Granted, that is one of the main reasons...

"Just trust me," I said. "I know what I'm doing." And, of course, I didn't, but it was important that I projected confidence.

"You can't stop him alone," Chibimon squeaked sadly. "You need the team."

"I don't need anyone," I said firmly, then softened my voice, "Just you." I reached for the computer mouse, hoping to end the argument at that.

Chibi watched silently as I brought up a text box on the computer screen already showing the map of the Digital World and typed what was in the Digimon Kaizer's return address. As I hoped it would, the computer pinpointed the area of the Digital World where the email had come from. He probably gave me this clue on purpose. He knew I was smart enough to figure it out.

"They'll be able to find you using their digivices," Chibimon said, still trying to find a good reason not to go.

"Ken'll find a way to fix that," I said. He's a genius. He'll come up with something. I didn't know that for sure, but if he could keep us from tracking his digivice, he could do the same for mine.

"Do you really trust him with your digivice?"

"I trust my instincts," I said, looking back at the computer screen. I must sound like I'm trying to convince myself as much as convince him.

Chibimon crawled into my lap and looked up at me nervously. "You won't leave me behind, will you? Not even if the Digimon Kaizer asks you to?"

I smiled and hugged him tightly. "No chance. You're my pal and he's not the boss of me!"

He whimpered like he still didn't quite believe me, but he made no more protests as we disintegrated into data and re-entered the Digital World.

The hot night wind rolling through the river valley was a welcomed change from the piercing frost I had spent the last few hours in. It was still really dark, and the moon was inconveniently hidden behind the clouds as Veemon and I searched the area for the Digimon Kaizer's base.

I assume he has a base, somewhere... I can't imagine the young lord sleeping on the ground. Not when he has slaves to build him a shelter.

If this were a movie, the bad guy's base would be hidden underground with a secret door to the outside. There would be cameras and alarms and traps hidden all over so that he could be warned about intruders. If this were a video game, there would be slave digimon guarding the front entrance, ready to battle at any time.

But there wasn't anything like that anywhere. The trees in the valley were sparse and the grass grew low to the ground. You wouldn't be able to hide much of anything there. The only evidence that the Kaizer had ever been there at all was the damnable control spire in the higher cliffs. If the Kaizer's base was here, it was expertly hidden.

Or maybe wasn't hidden all that good; I was just too dumb to find it.

After about an hour of searching hopelessly through the dark, I gave up. I didn't want to, but it was admittedly stupid to keep trying to find him in the pitch dark.

"Forget it, Veemon," I said without looking down at the digimon standing beside me. "I'm tired. We'll try again tomorrow."

Just then, Veemon spun around and clenched his fists defensively. "Digimon Kaizer!"

I turned to look and, sure enough, there stood the scowling Kaizer in full imperial regalia. "You woke me," was all he said.

Great. He's pissed off already and I haven't even done anything yet. "Sorry..."

To my immense relief, he snickered lightly at my pathetic apology. "I wasn't expecting you this late." Then he looked at Veemon, though he was still speaking to me. "You can both come inside, if you like," he offered, not taking his eyes off the nervous digimon. "While you are guests in my fortress, you have my word no harm will come to either of you."

So, his fortress _was_ hidden somewhere around here...why couldn't I find it? I suck.

Veemon wasn't answering his invitation, so the Kaizer looked to me instead. "Would you like to sleep in a _bed_?" he rephrased his question with a smirk.

My mind plunged into the gutter briefly, but I yanked myself back out, mentally slapping myself. He's offering _a_ bed, not _his_ bed, you dolt. And you don't want to find yourself there, anyway.

I forced myself to sound cheerful. "That would be way better than sleeping out here," I said. "Even Veemon can't argue with that." Sure, he could have; but he didn't.

So, with my digimon partner walking silently beside me, I followed the Kaizer. We walked until we were climbing the hill that would lead out of the valley, and while I was wondering how the Kaizer's base could be anywhere around, considering you could see the horizon in all directions with no hint of anything that could hide a fortress, a door slid open in the ground, revealing a staircase leading down into darkness.

Ken looked over his shoulder to catch my disgruntled expression.

I had been right about it being in the ground, at least...

I don't see why he looks so smug, though. Outsmarting _me_ can't be that big of an accomplishment.

He started to go down the stairs and I was suddenly reminded of something. "Wait!"

He stopped and turned around, now looking up at me, and looking unnecessarily peeved.

"My digivice," I explained, taking the item out of my pocket. "It'll make the others able to track me."

He smiled. "That is easily remedied. Now, come on."

I sighed. All my big problems must seem so small to him.

After checking to see if Veemon was still behind me, I followed the Kaizer down into the fortress. The walls and floors were all dark, blue-gray metal lined with glowing yellow veins that resembled circuitry. Little pulses of light trailed the paths. In fact, those veins seemed to be the only light source in the whole place.

The stairway opened into a hall that stretched into darkness on the left and right. We turned, I don't remember which way, it's not important, and walked past several other staircases, some leading back up, others going down, until the hall opened into a huge room that resembled something from a Star Wars movie.

It was a huge, round room with a big opening in the middle so that you could see down several levels into darkness, and the ceiling was lost in darkness, too. I didn't realize how deep into the earth we had come.

A rod that looked like a TV antennae was suspended at the center of the room. This was probably the center of the fortress, with the power generator room on one of the lower levels, if TV shows have taught me anything.

I continued to follow Ken on the path that led around the edge of the room to the opposite side, into a hall that was identical to the one we had come from. I could get lost in here easily.

Before I could make any comments about his base's redundant design, the Kaizer turned and went into a room that wasn't connected by stairs. I didn't know what function this room was supposed to serve. It was big and empty except for the chair right in the center and the caterpillar-like digimon curled up at the foot of the chair.

"Wormmon!" The Kaizer snapped. It startled me as surely as the digimon. "Bring me the keys to the guest room."

The green digimon lifted his head. "Yes, Master," he mumbled obediently, then left the room. That's sorry that Ken makes his digimon partner call him Master.

From out of nowhere, a screen with computer menus appeared in front of Ken. "I have a program that will modify certain functions of the digivice," he explained. "I can alter what entities the digivice can detect, or limit what gates it can open. I can even force certain digimon to evolve against their will." He stepped away from the screen. "It's remarkably easy to work with a digivice. Just hold yours to the screen like you were opening a gate."

I was more than a little reluctant to do so, and I had Veemon tugging at my leg, reminding me of the risks. There was no telling what changes the Kaizer had actually programmed. What if he could turn off my digivice's ability to make Veemon evolve?

"I assure you," Ken said, sensing my distress, "the only change in your digivice will be the one you asked for. The Digital World program will no longer be able to detect you, but your information will be saved, if you ever want it returned to the digivice."

Digital World program?

From the way Veemon's claws were digging into my legs, he apparently didn't like the way the Kaizer said that, either.

While I stood there, pondering the risks, Ken was getting irritated. "I'd like to get some sleep tonight, if you don't mind."

I sighed. Even if the digivice was scrambled and he lost his ability to evolve, Veemon could still kick butt if he needed to.

With that in mind, I held the device to the screen and a bolt of light shot from one to the other. It didn't even last long enough for it to be impressive, just zapped away as quickly as it had come. When it was all over, the screen on my D-3 was blank.

"It'll take until morning for the digivice to accept the new settings. Like rebooting a computer after installing a new program." The Kaizer turned off the computer screen, leaving the room dark again. Then Wormmon returned, having known better than to come in earlier and interrupt.

We left that room and Veemon and I were led to another. I wondered why Ken kept the guest room locked. Maybe 'guest room' _was_ a horrid euphemism for dungeon. After all, what other 'guests' had Ken ever expected?

Thankfully, that wasn't the case. The room didn't even lock from the outside. Ken gave me the key so I could lock it from the inside if I wanted to. "So your digimon will feel safer," he explained. "I can tell he is uneasy." Veemon still hadn't said a word, and wasn't likely to while the Digimon Kaizer was still within earshot.

"Thanks," I said meekly, "for everything."

"Of course," the Kaizer said with a nod. "Goodnight, Daisuke. Pleasant dreams." And having thus excused himself, he disappeared into the darkness down the hall.

I felt abandoned. Ken had made no indication that what had happened the other day in the farmhouse had occurred at all...made no mention of his email. And I certainly wasn't going to bring it up first.

I wanted him to say something...I like him...I can't figure out _why_ I like him...but I do...

I closed the door and turned to Veemon. "We're not dead, yet." I said, trying to sound optimistic.

Veemon proceeded to untuck all the carefully tucked blankets so that he could roll around in them easier. "He wasn't mean," he admitted, "but he wasn't exactly nice, either."

No, he wasn't. It was disappointing. The whole reason I came here was because I thought he liked me. Maybe I _did _walkright into a dungeon.

Hmph. Better the Kaizer's dungeon than Hikari's hell...

I kicked off my shoes, threw my shirt in the floor, and crawled into bed next to Veemon (who takes up a lot more space in the bed than Chibimon does!). Sleeping there wasn't as nice as sleeping in front of the fire could have been, but at least I was in far better company.

I woke to a gloved hand placed on my bare shoulder.

"It's morning, Daisuke. Time to wake up."

The first thoughts that crossed my mind were that it was too damn early and I had stayed up too damn late. Then I remembered where I was.

Blinking the focus back into my eyes, I rolled onto my back and looked up at the person who woke me up. He was still the Kaizer, all right, sitting on the edge of the bed wearing his Kaizer outfit and his Kaizer scowl.

"Are you going to get up, or are you going to stay in bed all day?"

Stupid Kaizer. Thinking he's royalty or something. "I'm getting up," I grumbled.

As I started to sit up, he put a hand on my chest, stopping me. "I'd prefer you stay in bed," he said with a sly grin.

My heart skipped a beat. He wants to...

Without another thought, I grabbed him by the wrist and slowly pulled him down towards me. Knowing exactly what my intentions were, he twisted around and delicately touched his lips to mine, downy soft kisses that I returned wholeheartedly. As he crawled into the bed on top of me, our lips never separating, I undid the clasp on his cape so I could wrap my arms around him.

He nuzzled my face to the side with his own, sparing only a brief moment to remove his visor then resumed kissing the underside of my jaw, then the cords of my neck to the rigid jut of my collarbone. My heart was racing, my eyes squeezed shut, and my lips parted because my breaths were forming in gasps. I felt like whimpering, but I couldn't make my throat form any sound at all.

"Are you wearing make-up, Daisuke-chan?" he whispered into my ear.

My cheeks and ears burned with embarrassment. Damn Jun!

He laughed softly and nibbled my earlobe. "I've left my mark on you," he whispered. "You're mine now."

I can live with that.

I knitted my fingers into his dark hair and he turned to kiss me again, teasing my tongue with his own. "I adore you, Daisuke," he whispered against my mouth. Then his lips moved to my shoulder. "...all of you...."

It was such a relief, to finally know someone genuinely cared about me. That someone wanted me to be around. Someone who was willing to touch me like this...

His lips met mine once more and I arched my body against his, my fingernails digging into the cloth covering his back.

I didn't want this moment to end...'cause when it did...I'd be forced to face the real Kaizer...the one that's supposed to be my enemy...

With a sigh and one last kiss, he pushed away from me and rolled off the bed, dragging his hand across my chest possessively. "As much as I would like to stay here and play with you, there is work to be done."

I sat up and pouted childishly while he put his glasses and cape back on.

"You didn't lock the room last night." It wasn't a question, but he said it like he expected an explanation.

"I didn't think I needed to."

He smiled at that. I don't know why. Maybe that had been a test, too. To see if I trusted him, or something. Or maybe I'm just being suspicious of him because I still can hardly believe he would want me around.

Thinking about the keys Ken had left with me, I was reminded that I went to bed with Veemon and forgot all about him when Ken woke me up. Poor little guy must feel like the buddy that got ditched for a girlfriend.

When the Kaizer left the room to go about whatever "work" that was so much more important than me, I checked around for my digimon. "Where'd you go?" I asked apparently nobody because he was nowhere to be found.

I put on my shirt and jacket (and found my goggles under the blanket because I hadn't taken them off the night before) and checked my D-3 to see if it was working like the Kaizer had said it should. The four dots that represented the other Chosen blinked as bright as usual, but because my own D-3 doesn't track me ('cause I'm supposed to have it in my hand, and why would you track yourself?) the screen looked the same as it ever did. Then my other jacket pocket beeped to tell me that I had just received an email.

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Daisuke, where are you!? We're so_ sorry...please come back! We _do_ care about you...we just didn't know how else to react...Please, _please_ come back. -- Hikari_

Didn't know how else to react? What on earth was she talking about? Not that it mattered. I didn't want to go back. The Kaizer had treated me better than they ever had. Hikari had never even given me a chance, and now it was too late for her.

I had the words "Leave Me Alone" typed into a reply message when I realized that sending a reply would be a bad idea. It would make them think I was still on speaking terms with them. Not only that, but if I just ignored them they would think something really serious had happened to me, and it'd be all their fault.

Yeah, better to just ignore them all.

Now, I gotta hunt for Veemon.

I wandered around in the dark halls, getting myself thoroughly lost, and by some stroke of luck found the room where the Kaizer had altered my digivice. Except this time it was completely lit by at least twelve of those floaty computer screens...all shining bright white with snowy scenes.

He was watching the ice forest where the other Chosen were!

The Kaizer was sitting in his chair (he probably felt like royalty on his throne) typing away on a keyboard that looked no more substantial than the screens that surrounded him. I wonder if he'd be annoyed if I asked him what he was doing?

I wonder why I'm actually thinking about the consequences of saying stupid things when I never bothered to before?

I shrugged. "Hey, Ken! What'cha doing?"

His typing didn't skip a beat. "I found the Chosen Children this morning. Now that they're confused about their missing leader, it's the perfect opportunity to attack."

I frowned. "Is that why you wanted me here?"

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Of course, I wouldn't think about _that_ first. Why can't I say anything right!?

The Kaizer stopped typing and gave me a _very_ offended glare over his shoulder. "Perhaps it is..." he growled.

I deserved that...If I expect him to be nice to me, I guess I shouldn't say smart-ass things to him, either.

He went back to his project. "What are you gonna do to 'em?" I asked. I felt bad being on this end of the attack, knowing that I was probably gonna let it happen. I shouldn't feel bad. They were never nice to me. I guess there's still some loyalty to them lurking around in me. Or maybe it's general compassion for my fellow human beings. Not that they deserve my compassion.

Happy to divulge his scheme, the Kaizer pointed at one of the screens. "There is a floating city some distance north of where the Chosen are having their holiday. I don't control that area, which is reason enough to send a force there. The slave digimon will certainly be attacked and fail to conquer the area."

While he was talking, I had moved to stand beside him. "What's the point of certain defeat?" I blurted. Sounded like a dumb idea to me.

"The _point_," he answered, irritated by my skepticism, "is that while they're wasting their time protecting an area I don't even want, another group of slaves will attack in the south," he motioned to one of those black-and-white-squares map that's supposed to be the Digital World, "destroying the gates returning to the real world. They'll be trapped there for days."

"So that you're free to take over unprotected areas," I guessed.

"Exactly," the Kaizer said. I was proud of myself. I understood what he was doing. And I knew something awfully important that the other Chosen didn't. Nyah, nyah.

"The entire Digital World's defenses go down because they can't jump from one endangered area to another," he continued. He must like the sound of his own genius.

Then he smirked as if he had just thought of something clever. "Normally, it is necessary for me to be present at the construction site because it is my Black Digivice that activates the spire." Resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, he smiled roguishly at me. "But they don't know that, of course. They won't realize that the attack was a diversion until it is far too late. I'll be free to experiment unhindered with my spirals...and you."

Color rushed into my cheeks. What was he planning on doing with me?! Was he gonna expect to do more than just make out? Isn't that a little fast?

Ken is _bad_. I can't believe he would even suggest something like that!

"Unless, of course, you object," he said suddenly.

I was confused. "To what?" Attacking or experimenting?

He laughed, like he knew what I was thinking, and faced his screens again. "To my attack on your former companions."

Oh, that. I frowned angrily and crossed my arms. "I don't care what you do to them." Jerks.

He nodded and pressed a key, bringing up another screen. "Harpymon," he addressed the fanged bird-woman on the screen. "Move your flock to the floating city immediately and erect a tower over the Sky Temple. Be prepared to defend the spire against the Chosen Children."

"I live only to obey you, Master," the harpymon cooed obediently. The Kaizer better not start expecting _me_ to call him Master.

Veemon would hate all this. I still need to figure out where he went.

"Icegizamon," the Kaizer continued as he typed, and a fuzzy face replaced the harpymon. "I'm sending you the coordinates of twelve Gates near you that I want destroyed. Wait for my signal."

"You got it, boss," then the display flickered off.

After that, the other monitors powered down to be replaced by others. These showing an island in the clouds at various angles. "When the Chosen attack the site, I'll signal the icegizamon to remove the gates," Ken explained.

I sat down on the floor next to his chair, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my chin on my knees. I didn't want to participate in Ken's plan any more than I had to. I should have felt guiltier. I know I should have. But I didn't. I didn't want to care anymore.

"Where's the restroom?" I asked, using that as an excuse to go exploring.

He leaned back in his throne and frowned down at me, as if the question was severely inappropriate.

I raised my eyebrows. "Or does someone as perfect as you not need one."

"Ha. Ha," he retorted blandly, though still with some amusement, and returned to whatever he was doing with the keyboard and the monitors. "First door across the hall to the right."

I hopped up. "Right. Got it."

I found the restroom in no time and quickly took care of business, then dared to venture further into the fortress without Ken's permission. I wasn't planning on breaking anything, after all. I just wanted to look around and find Veemon.

The first couple of rooms I came to were pretty boring. I'd open the door and look inside, but see nothing but lots and lots of dark. A quick examination of the walls just inside the room revealed no light switches. I doubted Veemon would wander into the darkness, so I would close the door and go onto the next one.

I followed the hallway until it turned to the left and was thinking that would be a good point to turn around and explore the other direction when I heard voices. I rounded the corner and found an open door that lead into a lighted room, which turned out to be a kitchen. It was unlike any kitchen I'd ever seen before. The countertop was barely as high as my knees! I felt like a giant standing in there. I shouldn't have been surprised, though; the room had been specifically designed for Wormmon. He and Veemon were both there, washing dishes.

"Hey, Vee. What's up?" I said.

"Oh!" He quickly dried off the plate he was holding, put it on the counter, and then scampered to me. "I came to visit Wormmon," he said. "I hope you're not mad. I was gonna come back."

"No, I'm not mad." I was relieved. Veemon had trusted that Ken wasn't going to hurt me.

Veemon directed my attention towards the other digimon in the room, who was watching us with sad, blue eyes. "This is Wormmon," Veemon said. "And, Wormmon, this is my partner, Daisuke."

Wormmon bowed his head politely. "A pleasure to meet you, Daisuke. My master has said nothing but wonderful things about you. I'm happy you are finally here with him."

"Um...yeah," I stuttered dumbly. "Thanks..."

Something about Wormmon made me feel really uncomfortable. I don't know whether it was because Ken insisted on being called "master," or because Ken was treating Veemon and I with more kindness now than he had ever showed his partner digimon, who should be his most true and faithful friend. I could already tell that Wormmon would always be a symbol of the cause I was rapidly choosing to abandon.

Though I could be comforted by the fact that I had brought Veemon with me, and that Wormmon would have a friend after all.

Suddenly, a semi-transparent computer screen with Ken's face on it appeared between me and Wormmon. "Daisuke, where are you?"

Thankfully not in the bathroom, where I told him I'd be...Could these screens just pop up anywhere? If so, I wasn't going to get much privacy anymore.

"I'm in the kitchen with Veemon and Wormmon," I told him, making sure to sound a little irritated. He didn't seem to notice.

"I was hoping you'd come back to me soon. I was enjoying your company and then you left."

I smiled. It was funny how he tried to sound affectionate without sounding mushy. "Alright. I'll be back in just a second."

He nodded and the screen disappeared. I waved bye to the digimon, "Later, guys."

"Wait, wait!" Veemon protested, running back to the Kaizer's dishes. "Wait a little for us to finish this and we'll come with you." Wormmon wordlessly moved to help him.

"Um...okay." I wasn't really looking forward to having Veemon around while I let the Kaizer trick and trap the other Chosen. I had chosen to abandon them, and now I was going to have to live with it.

No, that's not true. They abandoned me. They didn't want me. I have a right to be angry and hurt.

I wish they could just be gone so I could be with Ken and not have to deal with the way they make me feel, anymore. I know I say I don't care about them or what they think; I don't want to care. But I do.

Veemon and Wormmon finished drying the dishes, and I stood, impatiently tapping my foot while they hurried to put the dishes away. Wormmon offered to cut a piece of fruit for Ken and I to share, and I yelled at him. "Forget it! Just hurry up, okay!" Both digimon gave me a hurt kind of look, and I did feel a little guilty, but the Kaizer had asked me to come back to him and I was keeping him waiting.

Finally, they were finished puttering around, and I could return to Ken. Just as before, he was sitting in his chair amidst floaty computer screens and there was nowhere except the floor for me to sit. That being the case, I choose to stand beside him, with him below me instead of above me. I wasn't his pet or anything; my place wasn't sitting submissively on the floor next to him.

I put my hand on the back of his chair and looked around to see what was going on in the digiworld around us. Icegizamon were arranged in rows like invading soldiers in a few screens. In others, harpymon were raising and balancing a control spire in the middle of what looked like a palace courtyard.

One of the harpymon turned to address Ken. "We're almost finished, Master. Shall we expect you here soon?"

"Of course," the Kaizer responded, "very soon." The harpymon turned away again, and Ken smiled cruelly. He had lied to her. He had no intention of activating that spire and every intention of sacrificing her digital life. Though I had to admit, even if she knew the truth, the enspiraled digimon would probably carry out her orders just as faithfully. But deception as much as manipulation amused Ken.

He was sitting back in his chair, biting his gloved thumb and watching the screens thoughtfully. He looked serious and determined. Had he even noticed I came in? Would he be mad if I touched him? My grip on the back of his chair tightened as I tried to control myself. I really wanted to pull him away from all this, not only so I could feel him again, but also so I wouldn't have to face being a traitor. I knew Veemon and Wormmon were behind me somewhere. From where they were, what did they see?

My pocked beeped and I got my D-Terminal out to see what the Chosen had to say.

__

Daisuke, were are you? Koushirou got a tip from Birdramon that the Kaizer is up to something at the floating city north of here. We could really use your help ... and we realize now that we treated you badly, considering what happened ... please come back so we can try to work things out. --- Miyako

I stuffed the D-Terminal back into my pocket. I didn't want to face them again, ever.

"Look," Ken whispered, pointing at a screen with the control spire in the foreground. He had spotted Birdramon in the distance before the harpymon had. A lump tightened in my throat. They were coming. They were headed right for a trap. From hundreds of miles away, I was going to do nothing while they were tricked and hurt. What kind of human being was I?

"Icegizamon," the Kaizer's voice startled me out of my stupor, "all units ready."

"Daisuke?" Veemon squeaked behind me. By now he could tell what was happening. I said nothing.

"Master!" a harpymon screeched suddenly. "We're being attacked!"

The Kaizer ignored her, but Veemon yelled at me again, this time wrapping himself around my leg. "Daisuke?"

Now both of my hands were clutching the Kaizer's chair, and I was standing behind it as if to put some distance between myself and truth.

"Now. Attack," the Kaizer ordered, and the icegizamon on screen scattered like ants towards their destinations. The harpymon begged for the Kaizer's attention again. "Shut up!" he demanded of her. He was busy with the important part of the attack.

To my left, there was an explosion. One of several screens that had been showing gates to the real world was now filled with smoke. That didn't hold my attention for very long. I was much more concerned with the screens that displayed the Chosen darting around on their flying digimon.

The thirty or so harpymon, desperate and unorganized without the Kaizer's leadership, were flying around randomly and shooting feather darts at the Chosen. Digmon and Iori had landed in the Sky Temple courtyard, in attempt to attack the spire on their own, and were being overpowered when Pegasusmon and Takeru came to the rescue.

I almost yelled out loud when a harpymon came up behind Pegasusmon and knocked him off balance. Both digimon and rider crashed into the ground. Hikari and Iori shouted. Another gate exploded in the screen beside me.

"Tempest Wing!" Halsemon held off the harpymon while Nefertimon landed on the ground near where Pegasusmon fell. Hikari rushed to Takeru's side. Jealousy fired within me. Takeru was hurt and Hikari had hurried wildly to rescue him. In the background, Nefertimon and Digmon felled the control spire, but even further away, more gates were being destroyed.

The screen I was watching continued to be focused on Hikari and Takeru, even though chaos was erupting around them. She had helped him onto his feet and they were both waiting for Nefertimon to come back. Ken was watching the same screen I was. He reached over his shoulder and squeezed my hand.

That almost triggered tears. I tried and tried and tried to be liked by them. I tried to be strong and helpful. I tried to be fearless and to protect them. I tried to be needed and wanted. I tried and failed and tried harder. Why wouldn't they care about me? _Why_? Even their pleading for me to come back in their emails isn't because of real concern; it's because of guilt, and that's not good enough.

"They don't deserve you," Ken said as he angrily turned off that screen and addressed another. "Icegizamon, report."

They don't deserve me? Does he really think that?

"All targets eliminated, boss. Awaiting you next commands."

"Hold your ground within the sectors," he ordered. "Be prepared to slow the Chosen Children if they come your way."

"Roger, boss."

The Kaizer looked over his shoulder at me, and I just sighed, avoiding eye contact. The guilt associated with being a traitor wasn't fading away. Why couldn't I stop caring about them? Why did I feel bad about leaving them? Anyone in their right mind would have left them.

The Kaizer got out of his chair and came towards me. I wanted to literally fall into his arms, for him to fix things, to protect me, to help me not care anymore. But I didn't. I didn't want to fall apart again because of them. I wasn't going to cry. I can beat them.

"I can tell what they've done to you," Ken said as he lifted my chin with his gloved hand so I'd be forced to look at him. We were close enough that I could see his eyes through his purple-tinted glasses. "They made you care about them, but they wouldn't care back."

My eyes narrowed and I pulled my chin away so that I wouldn't have to face him. "That's not true. They didn't make me do anything. They're just good people and I liked them."

"'Good people,'" Ken growled. "They're idiots. They don't even realize how selfish they are."

Looking away, as I was, I could see Veemon squatting next to Wormmon in the dim light, and was suddenly mad at myself and the Kaizer. "It's not as if you're morally superior, or something," I said to Ken, facing him again. "You're the one killing and enslaving digimon in order to take over their world."

His eyes widened and then narrowed again. After a profound silence, he said, "If they hurt me, I would hate them."

"I don't _want_ to hate them," I whined, looking down at his shoes--grey boots with black straps. "I just want them to like me. I don't understand why they don't."

The Kaizer didn't say anything. He looked over at Veemon and tilted his head my direction, silently requesting that Veemon come and comfort me. A few seconds later, a clawed hand was holding mine. Both the digimon's and the Kaizer's expressions were completely unreadable. If they had an answer, they didn't give it.

But I had a feeling they both knew.

I must be the only one who doesn't understand...

_-to be continued-_


End file.
